KI LO TI E FI MI PE

You can be Mr World o,

You can be Mr Handsome,

You can be Mr Zillionaire,

You can be Mr Six packs,

You can be Mr Caring,

You can be Mr Loving,

You may be Mr Phonics,

Sugbon, if you are wearing a ring,

Nothing can be done.

Mr Man look elsewhere yeah yeah, look elsewhere. X2

This is my own remix of Sir Shina Peters song. I don’t know the song so well, but I heard it a couple of times while growing up and it was one of the songs that rocked parties in those days.

I’m sure you are wondering why I have done a remix of the song. Brothers and sisters, it is for some people, some people who will not let me rest. See me, See disturbance. I just got out of the worse relationship of my life; it was indeed a bad one. You know those types of relationship where you pray and fast never to see the guy again because you can just out of anger and bitterness do something wicked. Yes! That type of relationship.

I was used, disrespected and abused, I saw the signs but I made myself blind, I removed my eyes and decided to look the other way. I allowed myself to be used, I allowed myself to be disrespected. I was exhausted, many times I wanted to leave the relationship but I stayed, I would console myself and say ‘I love him, he loves me, in spite of my shortcomings he is so dear, he accepts me, what more can I pray for, even though he is violent, aggressive, pompous, all of that does not matter as long as he cares’. So you can imagine my frustration when I found out that he was cheating on me and had been cheating for four years. I’m sure you are wondering how long I had been dating the guy; I dated him for five years. Five years, Five years, Five years of blind love. Haaa, I washed o, I cooked o, I knelt down, it was something else.

Finally I got the nerve to leave the relationship; I got an older Christian friend to counsel me. She was indeed a friend, she did a good job and God changed my life through this woman. It was barely six months since I started my new life, i was at an eatery having lunch and you know how it is in this world, once a lady is spotted eating alone, she is lonely and needs a man to cure her and pay her bills. A man walked up to me, he was very fine, as in very fine, for a minute he made me forget about the old guy. He was nice so there was no need to be harsh or bitter, after all my counsellor had said move on and don’t compare. We talked and shared stories, it was fun. When it was time to go I insisted that we pay our bills individually, I was not for sale. Plan worked fine, he got my number and we went our separate ways. I felt really good about the unplanned date, and I had begun to imagine myself with this new guy, tall guy with short lady, he can pack me up in one wrap, we would look cute together. He called me several times before that day was over, the guy was smooth.

That is how on the second date o, my oga was wearing wedding ring. Oya o See me, See disturbance. I can’t remember if I saw it the first time, I don’t even know but now I have seen it. I confronted him and he said ‘yes I am married’. The man was not even afraid, me that was calling him guy in my mind before, fast fast my mind changed it to man. He said that doesn’t stop us, my wife is there you are here (mind you when a married man tells you, you are here, he means outside o, my wife is at home where she belongs and you are here, outside, where you would always be, just here for my pleasures). But they put it nicely by saying you both hold your different spots. In fact the man vexed me, he said I should wake up, that everyone was in that business, in his words ‘I will spoil you, I will show you life, you just cooperate with me and lets sail together’. See me See grammar, sail go where o.

Anyway, I gave him a piece of my mind. God so good I had been filling myself with a lot of gospel music that season and there was this particular one I loved so much, I don’t roll like that by Bouqui so in Bouquis voice I gave him back:

Ki lo ti e fi mi pe, I don’t roll like that

O fine but mi o se, I don’t swing like that

To ba fe ba mi fo, we can talk like that,

Phonetics ko ni mo n wo, you know I got it like that.

Mr Married I am not doing, please leave me alone, and so I stormed out. For a long time he kept calling my phone, he sent messages, asking us to talk and see one last time (See me, See awoof o, one last time, one last night, just one night, hmmmmm, he must think I am a mumu now). I stood my ground and I didn’t go anywhere close to him. Dating a married man is a ticket to living an unmarried life. Don’t do, don’t start it, don’t be a party to it. God frowns at it and so should you.

So please if you see any Mr Married looking for me, tell him I am running from him. See me See disturbance, kinni man yen fi mi pe naa.

Ladies please I beg you, you don’t deserve to be outside, you deserve to be inside, you deserve to be the one, don’t sell yourself short. Stop dating married men, look the other way there’s always enough to go round, don’t shorten other peoples ration before you get shortened too.

I am running from Mr Married