Monday, 30 September 2013


I have a friend who is into buying and selling. She sells shoes, clothes, accessories, weave-on and many other things. My friend prides herself in selling only original things, every time she brings her goods, she would name her different customers, ranging from bankers to politicians and even government workers, in fact she made it seem like I was very lucky to be one of her customers because her customers are big women, she calls them ‘society ladies’. Whenever I am buying things from her, I am always very careful because if I price too much, she will say ‘my friend you have come again o, when you wan enter society ladies list, na so so price you dey price.’ So I always try to maintain, I don’t buy things from her regularly and I try to avoid her as much as I can. I was really maintaining this level o, because things were going fine with me, my account balance was normal, if I have to buy things I know where to go and no be say anything o, I will get fine cloth, very fine ones with matching shoes sef. Society ladies ko o

One day, I don’t know what pushed me, I still can’t say this is what pushed me to ping my friend. I needed a good weave on because I had a wedding to attend, I thought it would be nice to ask for professional advice. Immediately I pinged her, she responded it was like she had been waiting for me. I told her I needed a weave on and then she started giving me names and prices. We chatted for long and I finally settled for one, it was expensive but she promised me that nothing would happen to it because it was original human hair. I took it because I trusted her and I knew that she would not sell anything fake. It was really expensive (I am not telling the name of the weave on, neither am I telling the price but you are free to guess)

Sisters and brothers, I’m sure you can imagine my disappointment when just after a day, the weave on began to tangle, it got so bad that I could not brush it, I had to take out the hair. I confronted my friend and she couldn’t say any sensible thing, I was very angry, she definitely still had her way of selling fake things. I didn’t find it funny at all. The fact that I expected an original human hair and I got fake was disheartening, it was not even the good fake, you know there are some fakes that you would still be able to rock for some time, but this one was the original fake, the unusable fake.

When I realised that the weave on was fake, I no longer cherished it like i did when I first got it, all I wanted to do was empty it in the trash, mere seeing it made me unhappy because it just was not what I was expecting.

This is exactly how it feels when we are lied to or cheated; this is exactly how it feels to lie to someone about who we really are. The reason is that when we lie about who we are, we create another picture of ourselves in the mind of the other party.

Many people have gone into marriages and relationships with lies, and in order to sustain the marriage, they tell more lies.

Many ladies have lied to be virgins before their marriage, but you can imagine the irritation of the husband when he finds out that the queen of his heart is not a virgin. It takes a lot of processing, he begins to remove the initial thoughts he had about the person and tries to find a way to fix in the new one, he starts the process again all from the beginning and that can be very painful.

Some men lie about their profession in other to win the heart of a lady, they pose around in big and flashy cars pretending to be somebody else.

Many parents have lied to their children about their profession, their children see them as responsible parents but their secret and evil profession are not worthy of emulation.

Some friends tell lies upon lies to keep their friendship.

Some people pretend to come from wealthy home just to be able to measure up but the truth is that it is not even about the lies alone, it is about how you make the victims feel. The victims of these lies and deceit often feel used, depressed, hurt and damaged.

We do not have to lie to keep up appearances, we do not have to pretend in order to win another person’s love. When we do so, we hurt others and we make a fool of them.

It’s like waiting for a box of gold and when the box finally arrives, it’s a box full of dirt. Picture it, how would you feel?

Enough with the lies, enough with the deceit. Everyone deserves the truth, no matter who they are. Don’t cause other people pain, don’t hurt other people. If you cannot tell people who you really are, if you would rather tell lies and deceive people than tell them who you are, then whatever you are doing is wrong.

People are not toys, do not hurt them because in the end you will lose both the person and the image you tried to protect.

Don’t turn another man’s box of gold into a box of dirt. There is nothing worse than living a life that is not yours. Live your life to your satisfaction, do what is right and pleasing to God, but please do not live another person’s life, pretending to be who you are not. It is stressful, energy consuming, and destructive.

Whoever you are, you are good enough, you are a box of gold,

Stop lying,

Stop deceiving,

Stop forming,

Stop fronting,

Stop faking before you become a box of dirt.


Friday, 27 September 2013


I saw this picture today and I pondered on it. Beautiful message.
I have to be strong because things will get better, things may be rough but I have to be strong.
As I carefully meditated on the words, It dawned on me that I am responsible for a lot of things, people are watching me, I am a friend, I am a sister, I am a future wife, I am a child, I am a teacher, I am a listener, I am a future mother, the list is endless. That was it, I knew that I had no other choice than to remain strong. What will be my excuse if I decide to give up on life, what would be my excuse if I fail to be a friend to those who need me, what would be my excuse if I fail to be a mother to my unborn children, what will be my excuse if I fail to lead and train the children that have been entrusted in my care, just what will be my excuse if I am anything less than I should be.
There are no excuses, none and that’s why being strong is the only option. I don’t want to bite my fingers when I should be eating the fruit of my labour, I don’t want to scratch my head when people ask what my plans for the future are, I don’t want to be caught unawares anytime, anyday, anywhere so I am going to be strong and stay strong regardless of what the situation is, regardless of what people say, regardless of what you are thinking right now, I choose to stay strong.
Be strong,
Brothers and sisters, be strong
Friends and family, be strong
When things go wrong as they sometimes will, be strong
When you can’t seem to get anything done, be strong
When the road seems rough, be strong
When the going gets tough, be strong
No food in the kitchen, be strong
When there is food stuff but no ingredients to make the food, be strong
No money in the pocket, be strong
When the bills roll in, be strong
When you are tempted to lie that the money is in the bank, don’t lie, just be strong
When you can’t pay your children’s fees, be strong
When your car breaks down, be strong
When you can’t afford to change your wardrobe, be strong
When troubles press you down, stay strong
When your children are not at their best, don’t worry, please stay strong
When life throws you a hard blow, don’t cry, stay strong
When you lose someone special, don’t lose hope, stay strong
When people insult, criticise and judge you, please stay strong
When you are down to nothing, stay strong
Why am I saying stay strong?
I am saying stay strong because that is the only option we’ve got. We cannot give up, we must not give up. The only option we have is to be strong, stay strong and live strong. If I had another easy way out I would have shared with you but the way out that I know is to stay strong. Do not allow challenges, situation and people pull you down.
Look at those big problems, those challenges that you are facing, those moments that make you want to give up, look them in the eye and choose to stay strong, think about those moments that have brought you joy, think about the good days and choose to stay strong.
Bayii ko ni yoo maa ri lo (this is not how things will continue), they will get better. Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. I believe God that things will change for the better but you will never know if you give up so kunkunma just stay strong.
Did I get the spelling of kunkunma right?

Thursday, 26 September 2013


Some people just want to be unhappy, some people just love to hear people say ‘sorry’, some people just love for friends to gather for a pity party, some people can’t just stand happiness. Happiness is a big deal for them, they see it as something hard and so all effort to achieve it seems like nothing.

‘I just want to be happy, is that too much to ask?’ They would cry and I wonder ‘who is holding you?’ The statement says it all, I just want to be happy, it is I who wants to be happy and only I can make I happy.

The only reason why we cannot be happy irrespective of how much we want to be is because we attach our happiness to so many things, we make our happiness a function of what we have and what we do not have, we make our happiness other people’s business, and we put our happiness at the mercy of others. We expect that other people will make us happy, we expect that our salary, new pair of shoes, new house, position, promotion, children, job, clothes would make us happy and when these expectations are not met, we become miserable.

Everyone deserves to be happy, regardless of what is going on in your life. You must look around you and choose to be happy, you might not be the richest, you might not be the prettiest but you must find contentment in who you are and who you will be. Be happy with who you are, change the things that can be changed and refuse to give anyone the key to your happiness no matter how important they are in your life.

Just choose to be happy, be free, don’t worry too much about where your mates are, don’t worry too much about the opportunities you have lost. Let all those things go with the past and move beyond it.

The richest people are not the happiest people

The prettiest people are not the happiest people

The craziest people are not the happiest people

The superstars are not the happiest people.

The happiest people are those who have decided to be happy and stay happy no matter what life throws at them, they choose to be content, change the things that they can and make the most of every opportunity. They find happiness even in the smallest things, for them, no situation is too small to bring happiness.

The happiest people are those who truly understand what makes them happy and have made a personal objective to focus only on those things.

The happiest people appreciate the smallest things, they are thankful for all things. Whatever happens, in whatever form it takes, their goal is always to stay happy.

The happiest people are people who are confident and bold. They know who they are and they will never settle for less. Money, power, pleasures cannot buy them over. They treasure their happiness so much they wouldn’t allow anything take it away from them.

The happiest people are people who are happy to learn, happy to share, happy to grow, happy to be better, happy to work things out, happy to help, happy to submit. Life is not a competition, they run their race without interference and would get help from as many people as they can, be it subordinate or superior. They are humble and very free.

The happiest people are those who would infect other people, with happiness of course, they cannot stand unhappiness, they will do all they can just to see another person happy.

The happiest people are those who would rejoice with everyone, stay happy for others even when they are not where they ought to be. The happiest are real and true.

So why can’t I just be happy? That’s because I just can’t stand happiness, I just can’t stand to watch others succeed, I just can’t stand to watch others get ahead of me, I just can’t stand to watch other people wear better clothes, I just can’t stand other people looking prettier than I am, I just can’t be happy when I don’t have my way, I just can’t…

The language happiness understands is I CAN, so if you can’t then you cannot stand happiness.

It is a long road, it might take a lot of energy and time but believe me in the end it will be worth it. Find happiness in the good and bad, don’t place the key of your happiness on things or humans, the only one who can hold that key and hold it well is God. Find true happiness in God, be happy, remain happy and stay happy for others.

I think I can stand happiness, can you?


Wednesday, 25 September 2013


You can be Mr World o,

You can be Mr Handsome,

You can be Mr Zillionaire,

You can be Mr Six packs,

You can be Mr Caring,

You can be Mr Loving,

You may be Mr Phonics,

Sugbon, if you are wearing a ring,

Nothing can be done.

Mr Man look elsewhere yeah yeah, look elsewhere. X2

This is my own remix of Sir Shina Peters song. I don’t know the song so well, but I heard it a couple of times while growing up and it was one of the songs that rocked parties in those days.

I’m sure you are wondering why I have done a remix of the song. Brothers and sisters, it is for some people, some people who will not let me rest. See me, See disturbance. I just got out of the worse relationship of my life; it was indeed a bad one. You know those types of relationship where you pray and fast never to see the guy again because you can just out of anger and bitterness do something wicked. Yes! That type of relationship.

I was used, disrespected and abused, I saw the signs but I made myself blind, I removed my eyes and decided to look the other way. I allowed myself to be used, I allowed myself to be disrespected. I was exhausted, many times I wanted to leave the relationship but I stayed, I would console myself and say ‘I love him, he loves me, in spite of my shortcomings he is so dear, he accepts me, what more can I pray for, even though he is violent, aggressive, pompous, all of that does not matter as long as he cares’. So you can imagine my frustration when I found out that he was cheating on me and had been cheating for four years. I’m sure you are wondering how long I had been dating the guy; I dated him for five years. Five years, Five years, Five years of blind love. Haaa, I washed o, I cooked o, I knelt down, it was something else.

Finally I got the nerve to leave the relationship; I got an older Christian friend to counsel me. She was indeed a friend, she did a good job and God changed my life through this woman. It was barely six months since I started my new life, i was at an eatery having lunch and you know how it is in this world, once a lady is spotted eating alone, she is lonely and needs a man to cure her and pay her bills. A man walked up to me, he was very fine, as in very fine, for a minute he made me forget about the old guy. He was nice so there was no need to be harsh or bitter, after all my counsellor had said move on and don’t compare. We talked and shared stories, it was fun. When it was time to go I insisted that we pay our bills individually, I was not for sale. Plan worked fine, he got my number and we went our separate ways. I felt really good about the unplanned date, and I had begun to imagine myself with this new guy, tall guy with short lady, he can pack me up in one wrap, we would look cute together. He called me several times before that day was over, the guy was smooth.

That is how on the second date o, my oga was wearing wedding ring. Oya o See me, See disturbance. I can’t remember if I saw it the first time, I don’t even know but now I have seen it. I confronted him and he said ‘yes I am married’. The man was not even afraid, me that was calling him guy in my mind before, fast fast my mind changed it to man. He said that doesn’t stop us, my wife is there you are here (mind you when a married man tells you, you are here, he means outside o, my wife is at home where she belongs and you are here, outside, where you would always be, just here for my pleasures). But they put it nicely by saying you both hold your different spots. In fact the man vexed me, he said I should wake up, that everyone was in that business, in his words ‘I will spoil you, I will show you life, you just cooperate with me and lets sail together’. See me See grammar, sail go where o.

Anyway, I gave him a piece of my mind. God so good I had been filling myself with a lot of gospel music that season and there was this particular one I loved so much, I don’t roll like that by Bouqui so in Bouquis voice I gave him back:

Ki lo ti e fi mi pe, I don’t roll like that

O fine but mi o se, I don’t swing like that

To ba fe ba mi fo, we can talk like that,

Phonetics ko ni mo n wo, you know I got it like that.

Mr Married I am not doing, please leave me alone, and so I stormed out. For a long time he kept calling my phone, he sent messages, asking us to talk and see one last time (See me, See awoof o, one last time, one last night, just one night, hmmmmm, he must think I am a mumu now). I stood my ground and I didn’t go anywhere close to him. Dating a married man is a ticket to living an unmarried life. Don’t do, don’t start it, don’t be a party to it. God frowns at it and so should you.

So please if you see any Mr Married looking for me, tell him I am running from him. See me See disturbance, kinni man yen fi mi pe naa.

Ladies please I beg you, you don’t deserve to be outside, you deserve to be inside, you deserve to be the one, don’t sell yourself short. Stop dating married men, look the other way there’s always enough to go round, don’t shorten other peoples ration before you get shortened too.

I am running from Mr Married

Tuesday, 24 September 2013

What is your marital status?

Anjolaoluwa is a handsome young man who lives in the city of Lagos. He is wealthy, loving, ambitious and caring. He is the perfect gentleman, the dream of every woman, the man any woman would want to spend the rest of her life with. One day Anjolaoluwa spotted Wolaoluwa and his heart melted. He was endeared to her and he was determined to have her all to himself, he wanted to love her, care for her and give her all that she ever wanted. But getting Wolaoluwa was not as easy as Jolaoluwa thought it would be. The chasing game was hard work, but eventually, Wola gave in and accepted Jola to be her lover. They started their relationship, hung out together and had their good moments. This was beautiful, but Jola had just one issue, Wola still had a lot of boyfriends, it was like, she was not totally his, he was competing for her attention. Each time he brought the issue up, Wola would say ‘you haven’t shown me that you are serious, I cannot put all my eggs in one basket, I don’t trust you enough, so do something that will make me know that it is only me, no one else.’


Jola then proposed to Wola and that was it. They got married in grand style, it was indeed a big society wedding, they vowed to stick with each other no matter what. Months into their wedding, Jola caught his wife in bed with another man, this caused separation between the both of them, but Wola kept begging Jola, she cried all the time and asked her husband to forgive her. He did and he took her back into his home. Not long after that, Jola had to travel for business, he was going to take a while but he would be back soon enough to be with his bride.  Wola was not so faithful to Jola, she did things her way and went after other men and more money despite the fact that Jola sends her money for her upkeep. She squandered all the money he had told her to save for their new house and had an abortion since she got pregnant outside her marriage. Unexpectedly, Jola returned and found His wife with another man, she was there, naked, shameless and stripped off all her marital glory...........


What should Anjolaoluwa do? Find another bride? Forgive his soulmate?

Though the believer was by nature far from God, away from the plan and purpose of God, the children of wrath. It is amazing to see how we have been brought close to God by the blood of Jesus Christ. We have been redeemed and bought by the blood of the lamb. The relationship is so dear that we cannot fully understand the dearness of God’s love for mankind. Just as earthly marriage is a serious deal so is your relationship with God. Until you see your marriage with Christ as a big deal, as something to maintain and make work through the help of the Holy Spirit, only then can your marriage work.

When we give our lives to Christ, when we accept the call of Christ, when we accept the proposal of marriage, God brings us into a newness of life. He is not ashamed of us, He is proud of us, proud to call us His own and ever ready to fellowship with us. Ever ready to meet with us so we can discuss our wedding plans, he flaunts us to the world.

It is absolutely untrue that we cannot have any assurance of salvation.
When you are truly married to Christ, you will know. Doubts, indwelling sin, spiritual sloth, or a lack of being properly informed, may cause a Christian to walk in darkness, and see no light. But it is essential to get rid of all these to enjoy your marriage.
Does a married person not know that they are married; if there was doubt they could produce a certificate with time, place and witnesses. When you accepted Gods proposal, you became His, if the devil, flesh or the world ever comes to ask ‘where is your God?’ or ‘are you a child of God?’ you know your response, you know that yes you Got married and you can defend your marriage.
If you are not staying married to Jesus, you are married to the law, flesh and devil. All this brings curse.
When you place your affections on something more than your husband, you commit adultery.
Adultery is an iniquity that weakens and destroys marriage. Marriage is sacred, pure, chaste and undefiled.
The best match for your soul is not the world, not sin and not the devil. Its Gods desire for us to be married to Him and remain married. We may fall, sin and break His heart; our desire to stay in the marriage regardless of what happens is what matters. Not taking divorce as an option and focusing on making the marriage work.
What are your objections? What do you fear? The only thing is sin and unbelief; those are the things that take us away from our marriage. Jesus died for this same cause, but if we keep sacrificing our marriage on the table of sin and unbelief then of what use is the death of our soul mate. Our soul mate is coming back to take us, to renew our wedding vows and keep us in His everlasting love. He is coming to marry us finally. Would he still want to marry you when he returns?

What external bodies are you holding on to. Take a look ate the image at the top of this post, the external body In your marriage or relationship could be an ex, a concubine, a friend too close for comfort, a maid, a secretary or even a swimming coach. Watch that external body before it ruins the internal.

External bodies in our spiritual relationship could be sin, lies, deceit, love of money. The list is endless.

So I ask, What is your marital status? Single    married     married but living single     single and searching     divorced 
What should Anjolaoluwa do? Find another bride? Forgive his soulmate?
Just before you answer, think about Jesus Christ and His sacrifice for you.





Love is all that matters

Never miss an opportunity to put a smile on someone's face.  Support the drive to share and express the love of Jesus this season...