Friday, 18 May 2012


“Annabel, I can never forgive you, you hurt me so much. You made me wet my pillow, I just wish there was a way I could make it all go away, but I can’t, it hurts too much. But you know, you can come back tomorrow or the day after, and I just might be willing to forgive, but right now, I really cannot talk to you”.

I was going to forgive Annabel but not at that time, I was too angry to speak to her, she had hurt me too much. But now, I hurt even more because on her way home from my house she got into an accident and she died. She did not make it till the next day neither did she make it to the day after tomorrow. She died without my forgiveness.

“Akin, I’m so sorry to hear about your sister’s accident, but the money I have with me right now is for something important, please come back next week and I will get you the amount you need. Today isn’t just a good day, I cannot spare”.

I really wanted to give Akin some money for his sister, so I went by his house the following week, but when I got there, the house wore black, there was wailing and crying, I couldn’t comprehend it, the sadness and pain that filled the house was unspeakable. I moved closer to see what was going on, and I was told that Salewa, Akin’s sister had died. Fear gripped me, I didn’t think Salewa would die like that, I thought she had more time. I had the money but I had plans for the money when he came for help. But if I knew Salewa was going to die, I would have spared the money I had on me that day. I don’t know what would have happened to Salewa if I had given the money to Akin but now I would pay anything to rewind that day when Akin came to my living room to ask for my help. He knew I had the money and he came to me but I let him down.

“Look Peter, I do not have the time to spare now, please come back in the evening and ill be available to hear you out”.

Peter did not come back that night but the next time I would hear of Peter, he had committed suicide in his living room. I knew he had issues but I didn’t know they weighed him down so much that he would take his life. If I had known that the night Peter came to me would be the last time I would set my eyes on him, I would have made a different choice.

As human beings, we are always so worried about tomorrow that we forget there is a today and Just as the above stories, we do find ourselves in situations where we can help others, but sometimes we are too busy, at other times, we are lost in the thought of ourselves, and some other times, we are just not in the mood to help.

 Many times the opportunity to help, to forgive, to save, to comfort comes our way, but carelessly we let it slip away and when we come to a place of regret, we wonder why  we couldn’t have just been there for a friend.

The truth is, we would never know what will happen tomorrow, we would never know the fate of another man, we would never know the fate of that person who has come to us for help, we would never know if the young man who is standing in front of us would make it to the next day, even you who tell a man to come back the next day when you can help him now, how do you know that the next day would be there.

Do not be so quick to say come back when the chance lies in your hand to help another. Do what you have to do today, tomorrow may be too late. Do not live a life of regret tomorrow because you have failed to do that which is in your power today.

Coming to think of it, it is not like we have the power to save, make alive or kill anyone, it only means that whatsoever we have the power to do, we should do it so we can have a clear conscience and not live in guilt of what would have happened if we had done this or that. You want to forgive, do it today, you want to love, do it today, you want to help a friend, do it today, you want to pray, do it today, you want to visit the orphanage, do it today, you want to do the will of God and obey Him totally, do it today so that when you are privileged to see tomorrow, you will know that it is another chance to live a better today.

Do not be quick to dismiss people, do not be quick to judge others, do not be quick to say I cannot, do not be quick to say come back tomorrow. Build an attitude of love, because you do not know what will happen tomorrow, Stop pushing things forward to the tomorrow that will soon become the today that you will never have time to think about because of another tomorrow. There will always be a today, but we don’t know if there will always be a tomorrow. So the today that you can see, that you can hold, that you can have, why not cherish it and make the most of it, make use of your today like it is the last day you have because just one day it will be.

Tuesday, 1 May 2012


Sitting down here and thinking about life, I realise that I have lost so many things; I have lost so many chances. Every moment I search for reasons for all the loss I feel around me and as hard as it is to admit, the answer is very glaring. I see it; I feel it and the saddest part is that I nurse it. Often times I wonder if I know the reason for the problems I face, why then can’t I just address them and move on. But you see that is exactly where the problem lies. The reason why I cannot solve these problems is the same reason why I have the problems in the first place. FEAR..........   I am afraid, afraid of taking chances, afraid of being ridiculed, afraid of being the last, afraid of losing a game, afraid of drowning, afraid of failing an exam, afraid of losing a job, afraid of the future, afraid of losing someone, afraid of the unknown, afraid of death, afraid of commitment. I am afraid of everything. Fear has become a part of me. I live it and I breath it, in the midst of the night, I am afraid,  in broad daylight, I am afraid, fear is always there, it stalks me, it is in the corner of my room and I cannot seem to explain it.

The truth is that at some point in life, we are all afraid of something, we live our lives daily wondering what the future holds, we live our lives wondering what would happen if our dreams don’t come true, we live our lives chained to our horrible past, and the list goes on. But I’ve come to realise that most times when we are afraid, it is in the negative, we fill our minds with numerous thoughts of fear,

 “What if I fail this exam?”

“What if this bus runs into the bush?”

“What if my wife dies in the hospital?”

 “What if I never get a job?”

“What if I drown?”

 “What if my hopes and dreams shatter?” and just like that, we restrict ourselves from expecting and hoping for the best, we dwell so much on our fears that we fail to see the beauty that lies before us.

Have we stopped to ask ourselves what if not? Have we taken time to put the situations in reverse? Is it possible that we can overcome our fears by thinking positively in every situation? Is it possible that we can overcome our fears by taking actions and risks where needed? Is it possible that we can overcome our fears by facing them?

Fear is restricting and when we dwell on it too much, it keeps us from fully exploring all the gifts, talents and opportunities that we have. Most times, what scares us is what we don’t know, the future, the aftermath of a project, the result of a test, the answer to a prayer, and so on. We can never really have answers to these things until they are actually happening. I for one don’t know what will happen tomorrow or next, but I know someone bigger than me who knows what will happen and so each day, I put my fears before Him and I ask Him to give me courage to walk through them.

Fear can be very dominating, and so little by little they creep into our lives. The bigger the room we give them, the bigger the access they have in our thoughts, actions and words. All we need in the face of fear is courage to walk through the fearful times, through darkest night, and through the storms. We are bigger than our fears so our fears shouldn’t be our stumbling block.

Love is all that matters

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