Saturday, 28 April 2012


I woke up this morning to the voice of Faith Evans and Twista.

“I’m hopeful; yes I am, hopeful for today,

Take this music and use it, let it take you away and be hopeful, hopeful

And He will make a way, I know it ain’t easy but that’s ok,

Cause we hopeful.”

Beautiful song, beautiful lyrics, sends me to the land of hope.

Every moment in my life, I always try to be hopeful. I live life hoping for a better tomorrow, hoping for a glorious future, hoping that things will get better, and hoping for strength to carry on. But while I wander off in the land of hope, many things go through my mind. I leave myself for a moment and I remember the world that we live in.

 I think about the people who are losing hope daily,

People who are tired of waiting,

People who are weak from thinking that things will get better

People whose hope for tomorrow is lost in the darkness of yesterday.

I even begin to paint pictures in my head,

I imagine the young child who is lying helpless on the hospital bed,

I imagine the young man whose shoe is wearing out from his daily walks on the street in search of a job.

I imagine the young child who has no food, no money and no shelter.

I imagine a citizen whose corrupt leaders have deprived every right and benefit.

I imagine the young man who in total love for his country lost his life in the struggle.

I imagine parents whose only hope of survival is wasting away in prison walls.

I remember the girl who lost her virginity to a gang of robbers.

I imagine the child who fails at every test and examination.

I remember the mother who longs to have a child of her own, to hold and to cherish.

I imagine the young man who sits in darkness everyday trying to figure out what his life is all about.

I imagine the lawyer who fights to bring the wicked to justice but all to no avail.

I imagine the helpless people whose families have been lost to bombings.

I imagine the father who strives daily to meet the needs of his family.

I imagine the poverty that looms over the society.

I imagine the corruption of our leaders.

I imagine the dishonesty and deceit of people in positions of authority.

I imagine people walking on the streets and thinking about who will die today.

And I say to myself how do we survive, how do we rise above this pain and turmoil, how do we get to a place of rest and revival. And the answer keeps coming, all we have is HOPE. Hope and faith for a better tomorrow

All we can do is fail to dwell on the present situation and hope in our hearts that the best days are ahead. The truth is that it’s not easy but it is better than lying in the pool of depression and rejection.

Let’s be hopeful for our nation, for our family and for our friends. Show some love to people on the streets, help those you can, teach those you can, lift up a soul today and you will see the beauty of the world appearing.

And if it is you doubting, you are wrong

With the faith of a mustard seed you can move mountains,

And only the heavenly father can ease every hurt,

Just let it go, keep praying on your knees and let's HOPE

Friday, 27 April 2012


Sometime ago, I had a roommate. She was a banker and so most times she would wake up earlier because she had to get to the Island as early as possible. When she wakes up, she  would play songs from her blackberry device. sometimes the songs would wake me up and at other times I just drift back to sleep with the sound of music.
One night I came home tired and  exhausted, the truth was that i wasn't just tired from the day's work, I was  tired of everything, it was like I needed a change of life, I was lost and I had no strength within me. it was  so bad that I didn't look forward to the next day at all. I slept that night with thoughts of hopelessness, I had even said to myself that if only God would take me in my sleep or maybe He would come say hello to me and  explain why I had to go through life like this. I was upset and all I wanted was to be lost, to be invisible, to be away from this sad and sick world. In all these thoughts, I drifted to sleep.
You can imagine my disappoinment when I woke up the next morning and none of my thoughts had come through, rather I woke up to the sound of music from my roommates blackberry and only that this morning, the song was different. Oh well, maybe it sounded different cos it is very possible that she had played that song every other morning. But this morning, the melody that was coming from her phone was brand new to me, it was different, I did not know who was  singing but i wanted to have the song. At this moment I could hear the song clearly  and it was now saying:
"After all my strength is  gone, in you I can be strong,
I look to you, I  look to you,
and when melodies are gone, in you I  hear a song,
I look to you............ about to loose my breath, there is no more fighting left............"
And that was it, the song touched me and I wanted to hear it all from top, then I started to ask questions. First I told my roommate to send the song to me, then I asked who sang the song. I remember she had shouted from the bathroom WHITNEY HOUSTON, hmmm Whitney, I wasn't a fan, didn't even know her music but then I remembered one of her songs GREATEST LOVE, as the song came to memory, I sang in my heart:
" I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadow.
if I fail, if I succeed, at least i'll live as I believe,
no matter what they take from me, they can't take away my dignity,
because the greatest love of all is happening to me,
i've found the greatest love of all inside of me.
The greatest love of all, is easy to achieve,
learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all."
I remember singing that much in my heart that day. I got this new song from my roommate and I listened to it from top and I could hear every word, every note, every sound, every message.
"As I lay me down, heaven hear me now, i'm lost without a cause
after giving it my all, winter storms have come and darkened my sun,
after all that i've been through, who on earth can I turn to............."
It felt like the song was speaking to me, I remember that the previous night I had laid on my bed trying to find words to explain how I got to the point I was, lost and confused, darkness looming over my sun, I was too weak to even fight for my life, to fight for another chance. there was no one that could feel my pain and yes there was no one on earth that I could turn to except look towards heaven and hope that an answer would come, and thats exactly what I did. I listened to the song, I found a melody in it and I looked towards heaven, I wasnt explaining again, neither was I complaining, I was only looking to God for strength to carry on.
I cannot remember if I heard a deep voice from heaven, I cannot remember if an angel in white appeared in my dreams but I do know that I was ok, I was happy and there was strength to carry on, in my hopelessness a song came to me from heaven to look up for a minute and receive strength and help in time of need.
As humans, we get to a halt in our lives, we cannot move, we cannot speak, we are just tired, all things seem wrong and suddenly things that used to work have stopped working.  All these are not signs that we have come to our end, they are just signs that we need to take a pause and look up for a minute, look up to find that melody that would keep us going.
Now I say to you, even when the road you are trudging is an uphiil and the journey to the end of the tunnel seems so far, you shouldn't give up, you shouldn't loose hope, only look up for a minute and find the melody you need.
Everytime I reach that point where strength and melodies are gone, I am not worried, I dont give up, I just look up for a minute and I know that it is time for another melody. May the God of peace fill our hearts with beautiful rhythms and melodies that will constantly keep us going.

Thursday, 26 April 2012

I'm worth more than a sunny Thursday love

I am young, beautiful, talented and smart. God made me beautiful; He created me in His image and wrapped me with His glory. But I did not realise this until recently when I had no one and nothing left, it was just me all alone in my world.

I work for an advertising agency and before now, I lived a boring life. The only event I had going on in my life was work. I was indeed very sad. I was unhappy and easily irritated, everything around me annoyed me. Sometimes I would be gracious enough to give fake smiles at work and other times I was just totally uncontrollable.

All these came to an end on a beautiful and sunny Thursday afternoon. It was an extra busy day at the office and I had a lot to deal with so I didn’t have time on this sunny Thursday to think about my boring life, work and more work consumed me.

At the close of day as I was about stepping out of the office, there came this handsome, gorgeous, clean and sexy young man . Remembering that day again just takes my breath away. Just as I was short of words that day, I am short of words now. The instant I saw him, I loved him, seeing him did something to me. I had actually wanted to just eat him, but I couldn’t. Away from my thoughts, I gathered courage to say hello and as the angels on guard on this sunny Thursday would have it, we got along perfectly well, I mean really well. We got talking and everything was smooth. There was this charm he had around him that was working well for me and I definitely wanted to be held long in that charm.

We became friends and the rest was history. Everything he did mattered and because I was happy, nothing else mattered, he was the centre of my world. If he didn’t like my hair, I changed it, I actually remember going on exercise and diet the week he had said that I was getting fat. He was everything to me and I was just happy. He made me happy, cared for me like no other, showered me with expensive gifts and made me feel like a queen. But all these were short-lived. Exactly five months after the breathtaking moment in which I first met him, he left me, he dumped me, heartbroken, in pain, in tears, in shame, he left me. He took my beauty, my crown, my happiness and my new found life. I was empty, I was lost.

I became withdrawn. I changed and I couldn’t even offer fake smiles anymore, there was no strength, I was helpless. Maybe if he has given me a notice, I would have readjusted, it was too sudden and there was no time for me to plan for the heartbreak. I had no one and I had nothing.  I wailed and cried for weeks till I couldn’t cry anymore.

One night, in my emptiness, I went out to the balcony and I looked towards the skies, tears rolling down my eyes, I asked for help, I said “God, I know you can hear me, please make me happy, give me joy so much so that I can see beyond myself and give me strength to love myself and make peace with myself.”

In saying that prayer I realised that I had never thought of it, change I mean. I had never thought of changing my attitude to life and the way I viewed things, but saying that prayer made me realise that once I see the problem; the strength to right every wrong is always there. 

I got my answer and I worked in the strength that was available to make me a better person, everyday, I would say that prayer and with each passing day, I started to feel good about myself, I made a conscious effort not be sad, not to depend on anyone for my happiness, when people said good things, it was just a confirmation of the things I had been telling myself and when people say the opposite, they remind me of who I was and how I never want to be that person again, and so I ignore them. Day after day I grew so in love with myself, I loved the woman I was becoming, no one could hurt me, harm me or break my heart except I gave them the permission to and of course I wouldn’t give anyone the permission to hurt me.

With every passing moment I could see the beautiful creation God. I began to view everything with the eyes of love because all that heart could contain now was love and no matter how much of it I took in, I was never exhausted. The funny thing was that after my heartbreak I wasn’t searching for love again, but love found me somehow, not a sunny Thursday kind of love but a love that flowed from within and regardless of what anyone thinks, I am young, beautiful, talented and smart. God made me beautiful; He created me in His image and wrapped me with His glory.

I shouldn’t love only on Thursdays  when a fine man walks in, but I should be filled with love every day, every moment so I can share this love with everyone around me and make peace in a world of turmoil.

Wednesday, 25 April 2012


You can love again, no matter what it has been and how many blows love has dealt you,
you can still love again though your heart is heavy and the pain seems so deep, you can love again.
Because you are that love that you search for.
Love is to life what a scent is to rose. It is the spice of life.
Love, a four letter word, a small word yet possessing so much little, yet so powerful, small, yet so encompassing.
The solution to a world filled with so much heartache and trouble.
Everyone wants to have it and everyone is searching for it.
The only problem is majority search for it in the wrong places.
The love you search for begins first with you.
It starts with you loving yourself first and then allowing that love spread.
If you don't love yourself, then it is impossible to find love.

There are many types of love. But the one that you must begin with is the sweet selfless love that dwells in your heart and enables you to love others inspite of who they are, what they have done and where they are.

You need to find love within yourself,
a love that rises above challenges and troubles,
a love that rises above hate and disregard,
a love that rises above the ill treament you have received,
a love that rises above circumstances of life,
a love that gives you inner peace even when everything around screams discomfort,
a love that keeps you going at all times,
a love that wants you to live life against all odds,
a love that keeps you in love with yourself regardless of what everyone thinks,
a love that envelops you in the very essence of creation,
a love that you hold on to and never want to let go,
a love that is yours, yours and yours alone,

a love locked in the treasures of your heart so that regardless of what the world says, regardless of how heartbroken people leave you, regardless of how badly you are treated, regardless of how tired you are, you are still standing strong and you still love the person that you are and have become.

That is the love that we should find first,
a love that is not based on selfishness or deceit,
a love that is not dependent on another fellow like you,
a love that is not tied to the presence of another,
a love that is not dependent on material things,
but a love that is strong in itself,
a love that flows from within,
a love that is yours.

Your own love. that is the love that can stand in heartache, torment, trouble, heartbreak and injustice. until we all find that love, we really can never truly know the essence of creation. I am learning everyday to grow more and more in love with myself and my creator. Are you growing in love?

Love is all that matters

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