Sometime ago, I had a roommate. She was a banker and so most times she would wake up earlier because she had to get to the Island as early as possible. When she wakes up, she would play songs from her blackberry device. sometimes the songs would wake me up and at other times I just drift back to sleep with the sound of music.
One night I came home tired and exhausted, the truth was that i wasn't just tired from the day's work, I was tired of everything, it was like I needed a change of life, I was lost and I had no strength within me. it was so bad that I didn't look forward to the next day at all. I slept that night with thoughts of hopelessness, I had even said to myself that if only God would take me in my sleep or maybe He would come say hello to me and explain why I had to go through life like this. I was upset and all I wanted was to be lost, to be invisible, to be away from this sad and sick world. In all these thoughts, I drifted to sleep.
You can imagine my disappoinment when I woke up the next morning and none of my thoughts had come through, rather I woke up to the sound of music from my roommates blackberry and only that this morning, the song was different. Oh well, maybe it sounded different cos it is very possible that she had played that song every other morning. But this morning, the melody that was coming from her phone was brand new to me, it was different, I did not know who was singing but i wanted to have the song. At this moment I could hear the song clearly and it was now saying:
"After all my strength is gone, in you I can be strong,
I look to you, I look to you,
and when melodies are gone, in you I hear a song,
I look to you............ about to loose my breath, there is no more fighting left............"
And that was it, the song touched me and I wanted to hear it all from top, then I started to ask questions. First I told my roommate to send the song to me, then I asked who sang the song. I remember she had shouted from the bathroom WHITNEY HOUSTON, hmmm Whitney, I wasn't a fan, didn't even know her music but then I remembered one of her songs GREATEST LOVE, as the song came to memory, I sang in my heart:
" I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadow.
if I fail, if I succeed, at least i'll live as I believe,
no matter what they take from me, they can't take away my dignity,
because the greatest love of all is happening to me,
i've found the greatest love of all inside of me.
The greatest love of all, is easy to achieve,
learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all."
I remember singing that much in my heart that day. I got this new song from my roommate and I listened to it from top and I could hear every word, every note, every sound, every message.
"As I lay me down, heaven hear me now, i'm lost without a cause
after giving it my all, winter storms have come and darkened my sun,
after all that i've been through, who on earth can I turn to............."
It felt like the song was speaking to me, I remember that the previous night I had laid on my bed trying to find words to explain how I got to the point I was, lost and confused, darkness looming over my sun, I was too weak to even fight for my life, to fight for another chance. there was no one that could feel my pain and yes there was no one on earth that I could turn to except look towards heaven and hope that an answer would come, and thats exactly what I did. I listened to the song, I found a melody in it and I looked towards heaven, I wasnt explaining again, neither was I complaining, I was only looking to God for strength to carry on.
I cannot remember if I heard a deep voice from heaven, I cannot remember if an angel in white appeared in my dreams but I do know that I was ok, I was happy and there was strength to carry on, in my hopelessness a song came to me from heaven to look up for a minute and receive strength and help in time of need.
As humans, we get to a halt in our lives, we cannot move, we cannot speak, we are just tired, all things seem wrong and suddenly things that used to work have stopped working. All these are not signs that we have come to our end, they are just signs that we need to take a pause and look up for a minute, look up to find that melody that would keep us going.
Now I say to you, even when the road you are trudging is an uphiil and the journey to the end of the tunnel seems so far, you shouldn't give up, you shouldn't loose hope, only look up for a minute and find the melody you need.
Everytime I reach that point where strength and melodies are gone, I am not worried, I dont give up, I just look up for a minute and I know that it is time for another melody. May the God of peace fill our hearts with beautiful rhythms and melodies that will constantly keep us going.