Thursday, 26 April 2012

I'm worth more than a sunny Thursday love

I am young, beautiful, talented and smart. God made me beautiful; He created me in His image and wrapped me with His glory. But I did not realise this until recently when I had no one and nothing left, it was just me all alone in my world.

I work for an advertising agency and before now, I lived a boring life. The only event I had going on in my life was work. I was indeed very sad. I was unhappy and easily irritated, everything around me annoyed me. Sometimes I would be gracious enough to give fake smiles at work and other times I was just totally uncontrollable.

All these came to an end on a beautiful and sunny Thursday afternoon. It was an extra busy day at the office and I had a lot to deal with so I didn’t have time on this sunny Thursday to think about my boring life, work and more work consumed me.

At the close of day as I was about stepping out of the office, there came this handsome, gorgeous, clean and sexy young man . Remembering that day again just takes my breath away. Just as I was short of words that day, I am short of words now. The instant I saw him, I loved him, seeing him did something to me. I had actually wanted to just eat him, but I couldn’t. Away from my thoughts, I gathered courage to say hello and as the angels on guard on this sunny Thursday would have it, we got along perfectly well, I mean really well. We got talking and everything was smooth. There was this charm he had around him that was working well for me and I definitely wanted to be held long in that charm.

We became friends and the rest was history. Everything he did mattered and because I was happy, nothing else mattered, he was the centre of my world. If he didn’t like my hair, I changed it, I actually remember going on exercise and diet the week he had said that I was getting fat. He was everything to me and I was just happy. He made me happy, cared for me like no other, showered me with expensive gifts and made me feel like a queen. But all these were short-lived. Exactly five months after the breathtaking moment in which I first met him, he left me, he dumped me, heartbroken, in pain, in tears, in shame, he left me. He took my beauty, my crown, my happiness and my new found life. I was empty, I was lost.

I became withdrawn. I changed and I couldn’t even offer fake smiles anymore, there was no strength, I was helpless. Maybe if he has given me a notice, I would have readjusted, it was too sudden and there was no time for me to plan for the heartbreak. I had no one and I had nothing.  I wailed and cried for weeks till I couldn’t cry anymore.

One night, in my emptiness, I went out to the balcony and I looked towards the skies, tears rolling down my eyes, I asked for help, I said “God, I know you can hear me, please make me happy, give me joy so much so that I can see beyond myself and give me strength to love myself and make peace with myself.”

In saying that prayer I realised that I had never thought of it, change I mean. I had never thought of changing my attitude to life and the way I viewed things, but saying that prayer made me realise that once I see the problem; the strength to right every wrong is always there. 

I got my answer and I worked in the strength that was available to make me a better person, everyday, I would say that prayer and with each passing day, I started to feel good about myself, I made a conscious effort not be sad, not to depend on anyone for my happiness, when people said good things, it was just a confirmation of the things I had been telling myself and when people say the opposite, they remind me of who I was and how I never want to be that person again, and so I ignore them. Day after day I grew so in love with myself, I loved the woman I was becoming, no one could hurt me, harm me or break my heart except I gave them the permission to and of course I wouldn’t give anyone the permission to hurt me.

With every passing moment I could see the beautiful creation God. I began to view everything with the eyes of love because all that heart could contain now was love and no matter how much of it I took in, I was never exhausted. The funny thing was that after my heartbreak I wasn’t searching for love again, but love found me somehow, not a sunny Thursday kind of love but a love that flowed from within and regardless of what anyone thinks, I am young, beautiful, talented and smart. God made me beautiful; He created me in His image and wrapped me with His glory.

I shouldn’t love only on Thursdays  when a fine man walks in, but I should be filled with love every day, every moment so I can share this love with everyone around me and make peace in a world of turmoil.


  1. Not just every Thursday, some love only when the going is good with money and the good comfortable things of life are at their disposal. What happens when all that is gone? Will you switch to hate? We as humans need to find a balance and set things right. God is love, look unto Him.

  2. you are very right melvin, we need to love beyond the now and selflessly. whether things are good or not, our love should radiate to all and we should never walk out of a relationship because material things stopped flowing but rather we should continually hope with love in our hearts that things will get better.

  3. nice 1 B....first i dont think ones happiness should be based on someone else.its like giving out ur ATM pin to someone,one day that person may up and disappear with all ur cash..same goes for happiness.when u hand urs to someone else u automatically become an emotional puppet to that person,and when the relationship does come to an end u r left with a feeling of emptiness,u r frustrated,angry with both yourself and the "unlucky" few that may come Ur way.
    instead seek happiness within urself.have in mind that only u can make u feel happy and not some "dork".appreciate urself,love urself and above all be satisfied with urself and ur accomplishments.its ok to feel happy with someone but that person shouldnt be the source of our happiness instead make him/her understand u are happy with the way u are and is welcome to share in ur happiness.

    ud be gambling with ur heart if u were place the keys to ur happiness in someone else's hands....toodles...jibril....!!!!!!!


Love is all that matters

Never miss an opportunity to put a smile on someone's face.  Support the drive to share and express the love of Jesus this season...