Tuesday, 9 May 2017


Mrs to Misery. Part 1

‘Deyemi, if you can’t wait then walk.’ I shouted as he pestered me for an answer to his one year proposal. You see Deyemi wasn’t really my kind of guy. Just like every girl I had my ideal desire. He had to be tall, built, well spoken, rich and famous. Although unlike many I wanted my guy to be a bit light skinned not dark. I am proudly black and beautiful, I have a perfect figure, I sometimes feel I’m a little too dark but I do like the contrast, my dark self with a light skinned man, the thought alone sooths my mind. Don’t get me wrong, I like caring and loving guys too but somethings have to top the Man Qualities Tree. Deyemi wasn’t my kind of guy at all but he had the kind of money I wanted and that money was the very reason I still kept him close. He had the money and he was very generous, he would always say ‘Anything for you Adetounmi’. He was capable of loving, he really was but he just didn’t fit into my picture. Although Adeyemi was tall, rich and well spoken, he was almost as dark as I am and he wasn’t as fine as I would have wanted, he looked okay but there’s this kind of handsome that makes you call a guy beautiful, that was my spec. I wanted beautiful children, each time I’m on Instagram and I see cute family pictures, I’m blown away and I always hope for nothing less.
‘Adetounmi, how long would I have to wait? You mean the world to me and today makes it a year since I first set my eyes on you and I asked you to be mine.’
‘I am not ready for a relationship just yet, I have a lot on my mind right now and loving you isn’t one of it.

He moved closer to me and tried to plant a kiss on my forehead but I withdrew, I really wanted to be in love, to mark register with a boo on Instagram, but Deyemi didn’t fit in at all.
Adeyemi was my ATM, he was always available. He subscribed for my data plan monthly, he gave me monthly allowance, I was free to choose any day of the week for a perfect outing. He was just too generous, he was respectful and he would never raise his voice. There was this time he tried raising his voice, I just kept laughing. He looked so adorable.
‘Adetoumi don’t get me upset, I don’t like this. You promised you were going to take these drugs but you haven’t even touched them, the food I brought is lying in waste. How are you going to get better?’
‘But I can’t take anything, my mouth is bitter.’
‘What bitter can’t a glass of juice cure, I’m not asking you to take the drugs with water. In fact there is no need, just do your thing, I will be here waiting in silence.’
Deyemi refused talking to me until I ate a little and took the drugs. He didn’t like me falling ill at all, sometimes I would hide it from him, but he always knew when there was something wrong.

Adeyemi was a good friend. A part of me wished we could just stay friends, life would be so much easier that way. Asides being a good friend, he was a spender and everytime he spent so much, I would say ‘Thank you for being a great friend.’ I used to say this to remind him that we were nothing but friends so that I wouldn’t have to feel guilty when I eventually got tired of spending his money.

There was nothing he wouldn’t do for me, he respected me so much, all his good traits were his weaknesses to me. He was too soft, too quiet, he was just too much of everything.  The Truth is I felt for Adeyemi, I just didn’t get why you would stay so long with someone who kept rejecting you. But he just wasn’t the one. At this point of my life I was not particularly ready for marriage but I was ready for love things, I wanted to belong to a man, I wanted to belong to someone. I felt alone in a way and I just needed someone to feel that space. I wanted a relationship because all my friends were in one, majority were even married and they always put up pictures on their Instagram pages. I was the only one who wasn’t in a relationship, I had completed the syllabus for bridesmaid duties and I wanted in. But Adeyemi wasn’t the one, he wasn’t that fine, he had a funny way of pronouncing some words, and as much as he was rich, he wasn’t a great dresser, he was a normal shirt and trouser guy. It was just a money miss road sort of thing, He liked private I liked public, he liked email I liked Instagram. Adeyemi wasn’t even on Instagram, no snapchat, always offline on Facebook (how would he reciprocate my love posts even if we had a chance?). Don’t show private love, I was all about the social media testimony.  I knew within me that if my spec arrived, Adeyemi will need to find his level.

One Monday morning, I had to rush to the bank to use the ATM, Adeyemi had sent me some money and I needed to buy somethings. When I got to the ATM, amazingly there was no one, my first thought was that something was wrong, but as I moved closer I could see the message on screen to insert my card and thankfully, it worked. However, my joy was short lived because even though I got my cash, my card didn’t make it out. I waited for a while and still nothing, as I made my way into the banking hall, I bumped into this beautiful young man, funny thing was that I had seen him in front of the bank earlier speaking to a lady as I walked to the ATM, but I didn’t look twice. Now I had the opportunity to look again, and wow, he was without any physical blemish, perfect in all human composition and nothing could match his physical grace.
‘I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking, your beauty is quite a distraction.’ I had barely gotten my balance and he was already sweet talking, I might as well just slip and fall. As if he didn’t except any reply to his compliment he asked if I needed help with anything. ‘No thanks, I just need to get into the bank, the ATM won’t give my card back’ I managed a smile
‘I can help with that, I’m the manager here. Come with me please. ‘
‘Thank you’

As we walked into the bank, it was like everyone had been awaiting his arrival. ‘Fresh, I dropped the document on your table.’ ‘Fresh, won’t we buy lunch?’ ‘Oga Fresh, I dey hail o.’ His praise was all over and he just kept smiling. My kind of guy, everyone’s delight, I felt at ease just walking behind him, as we walked past the long customer care queue I felt on top of the world. True to his words, he help me with the issue and I was asked to return the next day for my card.
‘See you tomorrow then.’ He said as I walked away
‘Yes, sure.’

As I made my way out of the banking hall, I felt this unusual attachment to Fresh, I didn’t know his name yet but that’s what everyone called him. He had made me smile when he said the machine didn’t want to stop seeing my face, that’s why it swallowed my card. I thought he had a fine sense of humour and for some reason I couldn’t wait to behold his beauty again. His face was adorable, tall man, moderately light, dark skinned, well-kept facial hair, magical eyes. He wasn’t intimidated by my amazing figure, I’m usually a head turner but he made me shy, that was a first. He didn’t look around when he addressed me, he had his eyes glued on me and those eyes had a powerful effect on me.
In a wink, morning had come and I rushed to the bank, of course it wasn’t just for my card this time, it was for Fresh. Just as if he had been waiting for me, I met him in front of the banking hall.
‘You may have to keep coming back here, I’m not sure the ATM can ever have enough of this beauty.’
See this fine man o, he wants to make a sister faint. ‘You are a funny man.’ ‘Is my card ready for pick up now?’
‘It is, but I’m thinking of holding on to it for a few more days, except you can give me something better.’ He was such a charmer.
‘What would that be?’ I asked
He handed me his card without saying a word. We both went into the banking all and I had the card issue sorted.

It took great strength not to call Fresh that night, I had been hopelessly looking for an excuse to call him since I left the bank but came up with none. I finally decided to send a thank you message for his help. He called back immediately and that was the beginning of a beautiful love ride for me.
We already spent an hour talking before he thought of WhatsApp. ‘You know what beautiful, why don’t we pick this up on WhatsApp, will chat you up in a bit.’
As soon as Olanrewaju Williams ended the call, Deyemi called me, He was wondering why I didn’t call him as I said I would. At this point my level of disgust was rising, you see the automatic switch of attention was great. Deyemi was nothing compared to Olarewaju and I wasn’t even ready for any yeye love talk with him. I wanted to lie that I wasn’t feeling well but that would be my woe. I just told him he was calling at a bad time and I would call him later. It was like torture, I couldn’t wait to get off the phone with him.
I started to chat with Lanre, we talked till about 2am, I had to force him to go to bed because he had to go to work the next day. Fun99ny, lively, amazing conversation, I couldn’t have enough.
We became best of friends, we talked every minute, every second and we could practically tell what the other was doing anytime of the day. I started to ignore Deyemi’s calls, and reduced communication with him, matter of fact he started to irritate me more, I just wanted to delete him from my memory. Meeting Lanre was like the magic I had been waiting for. About 2months after we started chatting, I started to post his picture on Instagram. My regular tags were; Cuteness overload, Mr willaims, you see that name, hmmmm, the name melts my heart, Deyemi’s surname was Alagbede, that was even a NO NO, I’ve always been picky with names. This was the first time I was meeting a Williams and that’s great. This one was final.
As we grew in love, we became closer by the day, he started to use my picture on Instagram as well. The first day he used my picture, I was jumping on my bed for over 15minutes, I said to myself ‘This thing just got real.’ Everything was fine, I was alright.
I now had work, I would edit pictures and tag my friends. The comments kept rolling in, how good we looked and how we fit perfectly. Without much thought it was as though we were already in a relationship. Well, technically we were……..

As I penthese experiences, I hope that you learn one or two things:
Ø  Love in appearance doesn’t mean love on the inside.
Ø  What you like may not always what you need.
Ø  If you are drawn by physical and lustful desires, you are most likely going to attract your kind.
Ø  Most times the social media kind of love is about keeping up appearances. When there’s nothing to post, you become frustrated in your relationship because you’ve not always been guided by inner love but by peoples approval.
Ø  You better have a good reason for getting into any relationship.
Ø  The physical should not always top the list of preference.

Part 2 soon.


  1. You know why I can relate with this story, I felt you are talking to me...I know it would have been my story completely but God saved me from saying I do to the wrong person ...My standards are simply high!!!


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