Wednesday, 7 November 2012


Do not let false love be an excuse for you to be in an abusive or hateful relationship.

Love is a beautiful thing, it is a wonderful feeling, it is beauty, joy, happiness, peace and confidence put together in one heart. It is that overjoyed feeling that helps you to see the best in the other person. It brings peace and strength to all who are growing and living in it.

As beautiful as love is, it could be the worst nightmare if you are in partnership with the wrong person or if you have given love another meaning in your life. Many have taken love to mean sex, obsession, suffering, pain, dissatisfaction and abuse. But that is where they have gotten it all wrong. Love is a deep feeling for the other person, a feeling that makes the presence of that person make a difference in your life.  

When you are in a relationship or marriage, you are to grow in love. Love never ends, it is never exhausted, it keeps growing, it keeps expanding, it gets to a point when your heart can no longer contain it, and you have love larger than your heart. This is because loving one person can make you love the whole world in turn. Love makes us better people and that’s why when you are in a relationship where love is well defined, you are at peace with yourself and with people around you. But it is unfortunate today that love has been overused but the truth is, once it is not love, it cannot fit to be love.

Today I will be focusing on people who are in the wrong relationships, people who are mixing abusive relationships, people who got into relationships for the very wrong reasons. In all of these, there is a time to pack your bags and walk away. Getting up and moving on. Stop dancing around the truth, be honest with yourself, the sooner you tell yourself the truth the sooner you can get off.

Love is not always rosy and beautiful, it has its thorns too, remember Christ had to die for us. It wasn’t easy but it was worth it. He knew that by dying, He was giving us another chance to step into the light. Just as the sacrifice of Christ was worth it, you need to know that yours will be worth. In the midst of the storm and trials, you need to have love so strong that you can hold on to. Know your partner’s weaknesses and be sure that you can live above them. After all no one is perfect. While we try to fix things and make things right, we also need to know when it is time to pack our bags and goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

There are so many danger signs to let you know that you need to either make amends or get up and get going. These are just a few:

 WHEN YOU ARE NOT COMMITTED TO PRAYING FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP. Every good thing needs prayer. If you are committed to making your relationship work, you must sow seeds of prayer into your relationship. Even before you get into the relationship or find your partner, you must pray, pray hard because it is a contract of a lifetime. Pray so you don’t fall a prey. WHEN YOU DO NOT MAKE GOD THE FOCUS OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP. Both partners must see love through the eyes of God, so that you can enjoy the love that flows without barriers. A love that is focused on God seeks to do things the right way. Loving selflessly and without shame. No sex before marriage, no abuse, and no fleshy lust. Obeying God as one even in your relationship. WHEN YOU CAN NO LONGER REMEMBER WHY YOU ARE IN THE RELATIONSHIP. Every good relationship must be built on a good foundation and if the foundation has been wrongly built, it can be revisited and built on the right foundation. You can decide to make a move for change. WHEN YOUR PARTNER DOES NOT LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE. If your partner doesn’t see the best in you or doesn’t accept you just the way you are, you need to sit down and have a rethink. WHEN YOU HAVE TO LIE TO YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS ABOUT YOUR PARTNER. If you cannot confidently tell your loved ones what your partner says or does, you are not just with the wrong person, you are becoming the wrong person. WHEN SEX HAS BEEN REPLACED FOR COMMUNICATION. When you both no longer talk, when it is time to talk, sex takes the lead and you no longer have meaningful conversation and discussion, you need to have a talk. WHEN YOUR PARTNER PUTS YOU DOWN IN PUBLIC AND USES ABUSIVE WORDS ON YOU. That in itself is an insult, you should love each other enough not to intentionally hurt yourselves, there should be a level of respect that flows out of the abundance of love. WHEN YOU FEEL, USED, SAD, WORRIED, DEPRESSED AND UNHAPPY ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP. Love is one of the signs of happiness, so if you claim to be growing in love with your partner and every time you are together you are sad, you do not feel fulfilled, then you need to get up and move on. WHEN YOUR PARTNER SAYS I LOVE YOU AND DOESN’T ACT IT. Talk is cheap. If you are loved, you will know it. Every action and words should spring from a heart of love, not out of envy and deep insecurity. WHEN YOUR PARTNER DOES NOT TRUST YOU OR IS INSECURED. Danger sign. As partners, you must be able to trust one another, trust is a very important factor in every relationship and once it is lacking, there will be a vacuum. WHEN YOUR PARTNER IS VIOLENT. You cannot use love as an excuse to be in an abusive relationship. You need to be true to yourself and take a stand. You deserve better than that. WHEN YOU ARE NOT PROUD OF EACH OTHER. You should love each other enough to show each other off. Walk hand in hand, laugh loudly, defend one another. Why be with someone you cannot show off to world

These are just a few signs that you should look out for in your relationship. It is still a relationship, if it’s not workable, you have an option to walk out before it becomes marriage. Do not console yourself by saying things will get better when you are married or things will change when he has made it in life. It doesn’t work that way. “What you will not eat when you are rich, you forbid it even when you are poor.” It is dangerous to sit and watch when you should be packing up. The signs are there and the options are always staring us in the face, WALK AWAY, ITS WORKABLE, PACK YOUR LOAD AND GO, WE CAN GET PAST IT. Whichever option you will settle for, ensure that it is the best option, do not settle for less.

We all deserve the best, we deserve to be loved, we deserve to be special, we deserve to experience love in the most special and magical way. You can only find that true person who will love you exceptionally from the God of love. That’s why you need to be in love with God and He will give you your own true love. You are precious to God, you are His princes and princesses and you are worth loving. No matter who we are or where we are from, we have the right to love and be loved.

Love is not the absence of weaknesses, but it is loving that person unconditionally even in their imperfections and that is the love that Christ showed. “In that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

When you need to take actions to make things better please do, when you need to fight for it, please do and when you need to pack your bags and leave, please pack and go. Peace


  1. I particularly read this article, like this article, and have a question on this article. You mentioned a danger sign when a partner has no trust... please what does it lead to? I mean, if a partner has no trust, what would happen? The one I'm dating doesn't have any of it for me. Waiting for your reply...

    1. I am so sorry Tolu and I know that this reply is too late, but I don't know how I missed this comment. if you like to talk about it, please do get in touch. I am very sorry.


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