Tuesday, 1 May 2012


Sitting down here and thinking about life, I realise that I have lost so many things; I have lost so many chances. Every moment I search for reasons for all the loss I feel around me and as hard as it is to admit, the answer is very glaring. I see it; I feel it and the saddest part is that I nurse it. Often times I wonder if I know the reason for the problems I face, why then can’t I just address them and move on. But you see that is exactly where the problem lies. The reason why I cannot solve these problems is the same reason why I have the problems in the first place. FEAR..........   I am afraid, afraid of taking chances, afraid of being ridiculed, afraid of being the last, afraid of losing a game, afraid of drowning, afraid of failing an exam, afraid of losing a job, afraid of the future, afraid of losing someone, afraid of the unknown, afraid of death, afraid of commitment. I am afraid of everything. Fear has become a part of me. I live it and I breath it, in the midst of the night, I am afraid,  in broad daylight, I am afraid, fear is always there, it stalks me, it is in the corner of my room and I cannot seem to explain it.

The truth is that at some point in life, we are all afraid of something, we live our lives daily wondering what the future holds, we live our lives wondering what would happen if our dreams don’t come true, we live our lives chained to our horrible past, and the list goes on. But I’ve come to realise that most times when we are afraid, it is in the negative, we fill our minds with numerous thoughts of fear,

 “What if I fail this exam?”

“What if this bus runs into the bush?”

“What if my wife dies in the hospital?”

 “What if I never get a job?”

“What if I drown?”

 “What if my hopes and dreams shatter?” and just like that, we restrict ourselves from expecting and hoping for the best, we dwell so much on our fears that we fail to see the beauty that lies before us.

Have we stopped to ask ourselves what if not? Have we taken time to put the situations in reverse? Is it possible that we can overcome our fears by thinking positively in every situation? Is it possible that we can overcome our fears by taking actions and risks where needed? Is it possible that we can overcome our fears by facing them?

Fear is restricting and when we dwell on it too much, it keeps us from fully exploring all the gifts, talents and opportunities that we have. Most times, what scares us is what we don’t know, the future, the aftermath of a project, the result of a test, the answer to a prayer, and so on. We can never really have answers to these things until they are actually happening. I for one don’t know what will happen tomorrow or next, but I know someone bigger than me who knows what will happen and so each day, I put my fears before Him and I ask Him to give me courage to walk through them.

Fear can be very dominating, and so little by little they creep into our lives. The bigger the room we give them, the bigger the access they have in our thoughts, actions and words. All we need in the face of fear is courage to walk through the fearful times, through darkest night, and through the storms. We are bigger than our fears so our fears shouldn’t be our stumbling block.

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