Sitting
down here and thinking about life, I realise that I have lost so many things; I
have lost so many chances. Every moment I search for reasons for all the loss I
feel around me and as hard as it is to admit, the answer is very glaring. I see
it; I feel it and the saddest part is that I nurse it. Often times I wonder if I
know the reason for the problems I face, why then can’t I just address them and
move on. But you see that is exactly where the problem lies. The reason why I
cannot solve these problems is the same reason why I have the problems in the
first place. FEAR.......... I am
afraid, afraid of taking chances, afraid of being ridiculed, afraid of being
the last, afraid of losing a game, afraid of drowning, afraid of failing an
exam, afraid of losing a job, afraid of the future, afraid of losing someone,
afraid of the unknown, afraid of death, afraid of commitment. I am afraid of
everything. Fear has become a part of me. I live it and I breath it, in the
midst of the night, I am afraid, in
broad daylight, I am afraid, fear is always there, it stalks me, it is in the
corner of my room and I cannot seem to explain it.
The
truth is that at some point in life, we are all afraid of something, we live
our lives daily wondering what the future holds, we live our lives wondering
what would happen if our dreams don’t come true, we live our lives chained to
our horrible past, and the list goes on. But I’ve come to realise that most
times when we are afraid, it is in the negative, we fill our minds with
numerous thoughts of fear,
“What if I fail this exam?”
“What
if this bus runs into the bush?”
“What
if my wife dies in the hospital?”
“What if I never get a job?”
“What
if I drown?”
“What if my hopes and dreams shatter?” and
just like that, we restrict ourselves from expecting and hoping for the best,
we dwell so much on our fears that we fail to see the beauty that lies before
us.
Have
we stopped to ask ourselves what if not? Have we taken time to put the
situations in reverse? Is it possible that we can overcome our fears by
thinking positively in every situation? Is it possible that we can overcome our
fears by taking actions and risks where needed? Is it possible that we can
overcome our fears by facing them?
Fear
is restricting and when we dwell on it too much, it keeps us from fully
exploring all the gifts, talents and opportunities that we have. Most times,
what scares us is what we don’t know, the future, the aftermath of a project,
the result of a test, the answer to a prayer, and so on. We can never really
have answers to these things until they are actually happening. I for one don’t
know what will happen tomorrow or next, but I know someone bigger than me who
knows what will happen and so each day, I put my fears before Him and I ask Him
to give me courage to walk through them.
Fear
can be very dominating, and so little by little they creep into our lives. The bigger
the room we give them, the bigger the access they have in our thoughts, actions
and words. All we need in the face of fear is courage to walk through the
fearful times, through darkest night, and through the storms. We are bigger
than our fears so our fears shouldn’t be our stumbling block.
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